I was struck by something that appeared on Richard Walker's blog today, about Thomas Nagel who has distanced himself from using scientific reason as a basis for understanding everything that the universe contains.
What strikes me most is what he said about his atheism;
“I want atheism to be true and am made uneasy by the fact that some of the most intelligent and well-informed people I know are religious believers. It isn’t just that I don’t believe in God and, naturally, hope that I’m right in my belief. It’s that I hope there is no God! I don’t want there to be a God; I don’t want the universe to be like that.”
I have a lot of time for what he's saying here - I think he's being a lot more honest about the real intentions of his atheism than those that use the scientific route to solidify what is essentially an uneasy feeling towards the idea of a God. The idea that, if there were a God, that made the universe as it is, it would bring a lot of trouble to our heads. And potentially to our souls.
It would bring about questions, and worst of all, the kind of questions that may never get a satisfying answer.
-If this world is yours, why make it like This??
-Why are you not more visibly active?
There can also be more awkward questions based on looking inward rather than outward too, like
-Am I a dead man?
-What is your opinion of me?
-Are you a God of mercy, or of judgement?
Either way, one things for sure, and it's a point that Thomas Nagel and I and Jesus all share; if you catch sight of God and what he is about, there is trouble coming.
"If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me"
Upheaval is a painful process. Especially when it involves what we count as the basis of our lives. We may have built up our life to be supported by so many things, people, ideas, and to lose that in favour of a God we do not see in the flesh - well, it seems a fragile and vulnerable path to take. Not to mention the potential backlash from friends and family that may never see you in the same way again.
Clearly Thomas Nagel is not after upheaval or suffering, if he can help it. He doesn't want to believe in God, because of the repercussions, because of what it would then mean. I don't blame him at all, it's almost unaddressable.
However, I think that he may have underestimated that there is a problem with "avoiding the problem". If we do not even entertain the questions that arise if there was a God of the universe, or look intently into what others think of the outcome, then we could end up assuming for the rest of our lives that belief in God comes with its burdens, and that our beliefs or systems of thought without a God are burden-free.
"For my yoke is easy and my burden is light"
This is one of my favourite verses in the bible. It is Jesus talking honestly about what following God means. It means that we take on a burden, but it's not going to be like any burden we've ever known.
I think I like it a lot because it's so mysterious and can mean a lot all depending on how you view the word light. Does it mean his burden is not heavy, that we are exchanging our burden of a unrelenting life sick of self-sustaining, with a not-so-heavy burden of co-dependence, where it is easier and yet there is tension because we know that someone else has a say, someone that is remarkably different to us?
I think it could also mean that his burden is light, freedom from darkness - that we are exchanging our self made quandaries and circular patterns of thought and behaviour, with receiving something new that we never saw before. That our burden is the Gospel, to be able to see the good news of Jesus that truly satisfies our hearts, but brings us to our knees in humility, and for the people that don't know Jesus.
Overall, my belief is that it is healthy to consider ourselves as having a burden, and that, whatever it is, we should strongly consider whether it is the burden that we wish to have for the rest of our lives. What I get from what Jesus says, it seems that options are available.
As for me, I've chosen my burden and I do not regret that it is light.
"But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed."
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