on drinking milk

"Brothers, I could not address you as spiritual but as worldly—mere infants in Christ. I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it."

I think sometimes, that because I have been a Christian for so long, that my enjoyment of living in Christ ends up consisting of things that are a bit weirder and harder to grasp. the problem is, what i want to be able to do is talk to my friends about jesus. if i make my joy and my understanding of jesus so convoluted from all the little pernickity things and patterns that a long time Christian looks for in the word, how can I then relate Jesus to those who aren't Christians and don't wish, for example, to know "how the sacrifice system of Mosaic Law is a foreshadowing of what jesus does on the cross", but wish to know the things that matter to them, like "what if i have done something bad?", "how can god allow x", "why does God not just show himself to me", "where is the evidence?" "this is bunk, why should murderers allowed to be forgiven?", the spiritual milk of the gospel that gives us what we need, that, perhaps, as Christians, we are speedy to leave behind in the dust as elementary and done. We prefer the 'food'. looking back at the milk, we can think "puh, i was a baby back then! ugh. why would i want to refer back to that point?! here, take this caviar instead". however, i think there's more than just our friends lives at stake when we don't address spiritual milk.

i realise that there are questions that my non christian friends give that i am, shamefully, loathe to answer, because i realise i have an answer that satisfies my heart in what i believe, but i remember the cost. i remember the stubbornness of my own heart, and knew that it took a very long time for me accept some theologies, and move on with God in joy and praise. For example, predestination, which can come as a stumbling block to both Christians and non Christians alike. It is not necessary to believe in predestination to be saved, and it can impair the growth of Christians and bury non christians just because it can be a question that never gets answered. i am at peace with the doctrine.. but i couldn't be concise in saying why, and would be uncomfortable dredging up how i got to the position of feeling okay with it, just because it didn't really happen overnight.

"We have much to say about this, but it is hard to explain because you are slow to learn. In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God's word all over again. You need milk, not solid food!"

however, I need to look back. i need to address those kinds of questions that keep non christians awake at night in fear and angst. also, i need to do it for my own sake, because i realise that i don't always follow God in the things i do say and think. i do not like that there is still some worldliness about me. that means every foundation and every structure of my beliefs, every wall, battlement, gate, barrier, all of it needs checking and testing to see if it is operational or if it is in need of repair. if i find something about God that i accepted once but don't actually follow, i should follow up why. if i check thoroughly, i might even find whole walls missing. i need to simplify my faith in God to just the working parts, before building can begin. no christian can say that they are finished with milk.