matthew 26:46-50
While he was still speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, arrived. With him was a large crowd armed with swords and clubs, sent from the chief priests and the elders of the people. Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: “The one I kiss is the man; arrest him.” Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” and kissed him.
Jesus replied, “Do what you came for, friend."Then the men stepped forward, seized Jesus and arrested him.
matthew 27:3-5
When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders. “I have sinned,” he said, “for I have betrayed innocent blood.”
“What is that to us?” they replied. “That’s your responsibility.”
In the past couple of weeks the scriptures regarding Judas has gripped me like nothing else. Why? Because, essentially, Judas is a follower of Jesus, and Judas knew that he betrayed Jesus.
In this Judas is privileged, because knowing that you've grieved someone is far better than doing something that causes someone grief and never knowing that it did, only to find out in an outburst fashion. Usually, knowing about your errors gives a means to make amends. Also, Judas had remorse. Not only was he aware of the sin that he committed, but he wished that he had never done it. Whether he made a good follower or not is not the point, but he would have never had that pull of regret if he had never tasted the joy of being a follower. Conviction is a precious gift God gives him - because it gives the potential to make amends with God, which is just a joy in itself.
Whether it was culture to be like this or not, I am also touched by Jesus, in his last conversation with Judas, calling him 'friend'. To the very end, even in betrayal. If in the tangible version of Judas betraying Jesus by a moment of turning against him, Jesus can still call him friend, so the same with those who have let Jesus down with their actions, he can stand in front of them and still call them friend. His call is to forgive - his call was to the cross, to show that he wants to deal with our sin himself, as if it was his own personal burden to bear. By killing sin along with himself on the cross, Jesus can make friends of sinners, and offer them a chance to be seen as sinless before him. He offers people like Judas the chance to be loved as Jesus loves the father and the Holy Spirit, perfect love that is.
It's sad the story for Judas ends as it does with his death. Its too bad that he didnt turn to God but to those who were supposed to represent him, the people who counselled with him to betray Jesus - and they offered no help. They did not want to see their actions as 'sinning', because they saw Jesus as one which god would be pleased to act against. They did not acknowledge Jesus as even having the rights of a human, in that a human can be sinned against, let alone as a god who sees sin after sin done against him. Instead they offer Judas the words of death; "it is your responsibility".
Noone's life can simply be their own to bear. It's too hard that way. There's too much to try and forget, so much moral gymnastics that we give ourselves injuries just trying to escape. In Jesus we can face the unfaceable, because he is the only one who can take our burdens and not be destroyed. We can give the responsibility of our actions, our words, and our thoughts to him. Giving them to him and saying to him "take over my life" is a freedom unmatched by any pleasure or human right. I am more and more convinced that this Is life.
